After going through a divorce I found myself back on the doorstep of my mum’s house. There I was, a 33 year old girl having to return home with my tail between my legs. Yes, I was humiliated and dreading the idea of having to live with my mum once more. I left home at 18 when I went to university where I met a guy. We got married after graduating; set up home and then years later I was faced with sleeping in my old room in a single bed amongst my mums knitting and craft bits and bobs.
Nothing Worse than Returning Home after Living Away for so Long
I felt foolish. I thought mum was going to start butting in my life, making me live by a curfew and analysing my every move. I also thought she would pressure me into talking like she did when I was younger. I guess I thought she was going to give me hell for failing my husband and taking steps backwards rather than forwards. Amazingly, I was wrong.
As soon as I arrived on the doors step my mum was as cool as a cucumber. She welcomed me in, made me a coffee and pretty much told me she was there if I wanted her help or to talk, if not she would let me live how I wanted until I found a new place to live. It wasn’t a cold conversation; in fact it immediately made me feel a little better. My mum told me she understood that right now I would be feeling a bit of pressure and experiencing whole new emotions and what I needed was a place of comfort to relax into while the rest of the world was going crazy around me.
Mum gave me Space, Time and a Place to Relax
I was flabbergasted not to return to my nagging mum. I’m not sure if I remember her correctly as I was sure she was never this amazing before. I’m not sure whether we can just talk more like grown-ups together now or if she knew my concerns and wanted to show me I was wrong. Whatever the reason I welcome it as it made the next two months a little bit more bearable.
I’m now in my own place; you can’t live at home for long once you’ve left. While I was given free range to come and go as I pleased I didn’t want to put mum out too much. In the evenings I would come home, we’d eat and soon we began chatting about what happened. I learnt things about my mum I never knew and began to understand her own divorce. We even popped out for a few drinks together which was something we had never done.
My Mum Deserves the Best
My mum gave me the strength and the safe place to come and be myself, shes the strong persona and just take some much needed breaths. Somehow she knew that hounding me and nagging me was the last thing I needed. I think she began to look on me as a friend rather than her baby girl. My mum knew exactly what she was doing and I am forever indebted to her.
Now I am back to my old self and looking to the future I can only hope I turn out to be as good a parent as my mum has. I owe her everything and this year she will be getting the best mother’s day gift ever from me! I am going to make it my mission to treat her more than once a month but Mother’s Day is going to be more important than ever this year.
Jess Toogood is a freelance writer who knows that buying the best Mother’s Day gifts is a great way of saying thanks to amazing mums so make sure you choose well.