If your kids worry, feel anxious or fearful, you might hear them say, “I can’t.” This can be hard on you and your child. If you want your child to take reasonable risks and try new things, let Knuckle Power come to the rescue. It’s a great parenting technique I learned years ago from NLP Classes. Knuckle Power (my term) can change “I can’t” into “I can.” Let’s find out how.
I remember a six-year old girl I’ll call “Sally” (not her real name). Sally’s mother brought her to counseling because Sally refused to go to her room. This caused problems at bedtime. Sally would scream and cry, “I’m afraid.”
Sally told me, “The lions and tigers will hurt me.” Sally believed that the lions and tigers from the local zoo were waiting for her in her bedroom. “It’s time for Knuckle Power,” I thought.
In talking with Sally, I found out that she needed bravery, confidence, and the feeling of success to deal with her fear of going to bed. I knew she could have all three with Knuckle Power.
“Sally,” I instructed, “press the top knuckle of your index finger with the index finger of you’re your other hand.” After she practiced a few times, I told her to tell me a time when she was very brave.
“I felt brave when I raised my hand and answered a question.”
I told Sally, “Describe it in detail and when you feel brave, press your knuckle.”
“That was fun!” exclaimed Sally.
I told Sally, “Tell me 5 brave things you’ve done, and when you have the brave feeling, press your knuckle.” Next, she told me 5 successful things she had done, and then five things she did with confidence. Each time she was to press her knuckle when she felt brave, successful, or confident. By the end of the session, Sally had 15 great feelings stacked on her knuckle.
Sally’s homework was to press her knuckle and to feel all those good feelings as she walked down the hall to her bedroom.
Sally and her mother returned in two weeks. Her mother grinned saying, “Sally slept in her own bed every night without a single problem.” Sally smiled and said, “Yep, I just pressed my “button.”
In a Nutshell:
Identify your child’s problem.
Ask your child to identify qualities s/he needs to deal with the fear.
Explain how to use Knuckle Power.
Have your child press the index knuckle as s/he feels the needed qualities while telling you about each successful event.
Knuckle Power is great because your child will enjoy sharing all the successes. Don’t forget to tell your child to let you know the end results.
Knuckle Power changes “I can’t” to “I can.” Knuckle Power promotes reasonable risks, builds self-esteem and character too. Teach Knuckle Power to help your child feel great when facing fear. You’ll be glad you did.